Trauma impacting work
When there is nothing left to give
Working in health care or mental health can ask a great deal of you. You may have chosen this work because you care deeply about people and can be with their pain. Yet continuing to give to others while carrying your own pain can become a burden over time.
You may feel affected by the trauma you witness, triggered by the experiences of clients or patients, or overwhelmed by the needs around you. Perhaps work feels heavier than it once did. You may be burnt out, feel there is nothing left to give, or wonder how you can keep going without losing yourself.
Having spent more than 40 years working in health care as a nurse, I understand the realities of caring for others, the pressures within healthcare systems and the impact this work can have over time. I understand how difficult it can be when a role that has held meaning for you begins to feel too much.
When sadness and depression become part of everyday life
There are times when sadness feels like more than a passing emotion. It can become something you carry every day, making even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming.
For some people, depression has been present for so long that they cannot remember what it feels like to wake with hope or enthusiasm for the day ahead. You may have tried medication, counselling or other therapies and found some relief, yet the sadness continues to return. You may begin to wonder why you still feel this way.
In my experience, depression is not always something to be understood as an illness alone. Depression is not just a brain disorder. Sometimes it is the emotional legacy of unresolved trauma, grief or painful experiences that were never able to be expressed or understood.
When we experience childhood trauma, neglect or ongoing adversity, deep feelings of helplessness, hopelessness or worthlessness can become part of how we experience ourselves and the world. Life can feel heavy. Joy can become difficult to find. Even making everyday decisions can feel exhausting.
You may continue to care for others, go to work and meet your responsibilities, yet inside you feel disconnected from yourself and unable to experience the sense of peace you long for. When there is little space for your own feelings, sadness, anger and frustration can become harder to understand or carry.
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When anxiety does not switch off
Anxiety and fear are natural responses of the nervous system. They are designed to protect us when we are in danger by preparing us to fight, flee, freeze or sometimes fawn. These responses are not a sign that something is wrong with you. They are part of being human.
The difficulty comes when your nervous system has learnt through trauma, abuse or ongoing stressful experiences that the world is not a safe place. Even when life is no longer threatening, your body can continue to respond as though it is.
You may feel anxious much of the time: constantly alert, worrying about things others seem to cope with, feeling irritable, overwhelmed or unable to relax. Your mind may tell you to stop worrying, but your body has learnt something different. This is not something you can simply think your way out of.
For people who work with distress every day, the nervous system may have little opportunity to settle. You may be triggered by the trauma you hear or witness, then find yourself carrying the effects long after work has finished. You may feel exhausted yet unable to rest, or unsure why even small demands now feel too much.
When the effects follow you home
Trauma impacting work does not always stay at work. You may find yourself withdrawing from the people close to you, becoming easily overwhelmed, or feeling angry and frustrated in ways that do not feel like you. Relationships at home can become difficult when you have been holding so much together for so long.
Perhaps you question whether you are good enough, even while giving so much to others. You may feel isolated, ashamed that you are struggling, or unable to ask for the same care and support that you offer so freely to other people.
These experiences deserve to be understood with care, not judgement. They may be signs that your mind and body have been carrying more than they can manage alone.
A different way to support yourself
My counselling and psychotherapy practice offers a space to understand what is happening for you now: in your work, your body, your relationships and your sense of yourself. We do not need to force you into painful memories or expect you to explain everything before you are ready.
Body-based Breathwork may support you to notice the feelings, sensations and nervous-system responses that can be difficult to access through talking alone. It offers a gentle way to make space for what you have been carrying, with curiosity and compassion, and to begin to integrate this understanding into your everyday life.
To learn more about this approach, visit my Breathwork page.